The choice is yours.

Apparently my writing skills could use a little improvement. This post was intended to be an indictment against Michele Bachmann’s, and her husband’s, views on homosexuality. It was, as the category clearly states, satire. No one supports the LGBT community any more fervently than I do…

The choice is yours.

All left-handed people are going straight to hell; the Bible says so. In America, God’s Country, being left-handed is a worse fate than being a slave. But take heart, left-handed evildoers – there is a cure. It’s called prayer.

Yes, the Lord God Almighty who created heaven and earth has the power to heal your infirmity and secure for you everlasting joy, if you accept Jesus into your heart and truly repent. Or, you can remain a slave to your sin and burn in the lake of fire forever.

The choice is yours.

I implore you, if you’re living with the scourge of left-handedness, go to Bachmann and Associates. They will help you pray the left-handedness away!

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“Kiss My Ass”

“That’s the kind of spirit that I have, too.” – Michele Bachmann

Bachmann, the GOP’s prohibitive front-runner in Iowa, recently stated: “John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That’s the kind of spirit that I have, too.”

Well, the actor John Wayne was born nearly 150 miles away in Winterset, Iowa. John Wayne Gacy, Jr. – the serial killer – was born in Chicago, but later moved to Waterloo. Gacy,  also known as the Killer Clown, committed the rape and murder of 33 teenage boys and young men between 1972 and 1978. Twenty-six of Gacy’s victims were buried in the crawlspace of his home, three others elsewhere on his property and four victims were discarded in a nearby river. At his execution, Gacy’s last words were: “Kiss my ass.”

To her credit, Bachmann actually admitted she was wrong – something quite rare for a politician. The parents of John Wayne the actor lived in Waterloo for a time, she pointed out. But the technicalities were beside the point, she added.

“Of course, the main point I was making are the sensibilities of John Wayne, which is patriotism, love of country, standing up for our nation, that positive enthusiasm is what America’s all about,” Bachmann said.

She still rejects evolution, denies Climate Change, and refuses to even consider ending the Bush tax cuts for the extremely wealthy. So while she’s more credible than Sarah Palin, she’s far from the best choice to lead our country.